Keep Warm on the Touchline
Ah the sweet waft of wintergreen oil – that’s enough to get a mum’s blood racing all by itself. “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em”, with a little liniment strategically applied to keep the blood circulating for the full eighty minutes. If that doesn’t work, entertain your fellow supporters with a few rousing choruses of ‘Swing low, sweet chariot’, ‘O Flower of Scotland’ or ‘Delilah’ (depending on your location) that should help!
Your role is going to involve a lot of cheering and – if your little darling scores or saves a goal – there will be clapping. Excellent for keeping your extremities warm. You might reluctantly have to take your gloves off if you actually want to make some noise, though.
The bully-off is no more, but after the hit back you could try a gentle jog alongside your starlet as they dribble downfield toward the goal. Not enough to draw attention to yourself, of course. Parents can be sooo embarrassing to their children!
There are no handy dugouts to hide in and often there’s a fence between the parents and the action. So nobody will notice if you nip back to the car for a thermos of something warming. No hip flasks though – you’re the designated driver for the next ten years or so, remember?
Whoo hoo! You’ve won the jackpot – lovely balmy swimming pool temperatures make you the envy of all the parents on the real touchline, as you recline in the chlorinated atmosphere on your plastic bucket chair. But such are the extremes of temperature in public pools, you’ll actually need to peel off some layers of clothing, or that lifeguard is going to be practising CPR on your over-heated body before the end of the lesson.
If Saturday mornings mean mucking out, followed by a sequence of riding lessons for each of the children, simply pop on your A&W beanie to add warmth and a dash of style. A brisk trot around the manège should get that blood pumping. Just make sure the ponies don’t mistake your pompom for a treat and you’ll be the star of the show.
With the fashion for fun runs, half marathons and the like, the chances are that your kids will actually volunteer for cross-country practice these days. I know! Unheard of back in the day, when we did anything we could to avoid getting wet and muddy. Still, your children will only see you at the start and the finish, so you might as well have a snooze in the car. Or maybe your friends fancy a quick cuppa in the nearby café? Great chance to show off your new season Arkell & Wills sweater, too…